I'm staying home the whole day today.

It's rather nice, I've been sleeping on and off the whole day, and I could get used to that, I think. Sleep is rare to me most times. However, in between sleep, in between dreams, it's not so awesome, cause I start to think. And you know how I can always think too much.

Anyway I was thinking that the world looked real nice outside the window. Like it was sunny, and if I thought and imagined hard enough, I could make-believe that it was cold outside, too. Just the weather I like, cold but sunny. It was so wonderful that I almost made myself believe in it wholeheartedly, and I very almost got up to go take a walk outside, would you believe that? But no, it's just my mind at work, deceiving me again, and it was a major letdown.

I miss weather like that. I miss countries with weather like that.

Also, I was thinking (yes, still), and I realised that I've drifted apart from so many people. Now it can't always be my fault, and solely mine, can it?
Relationships take work from both parties, and lately in a number of my relationships I haven't seen that work from both sides.
God knows that I've tried, especially for once such friendship that means a lot to me. All the times we used to spend talking, the things we've been through?
All for nothing? Now we hardly even talk anmore.
What if it was never really meant to be in the first place?

I have to steel myself to even think of that. But what if it's true? What if?